Gnosis and Theophany

Change is always a constant in life. Each day, each hour, each minute provides us with new opportunities and experiences – all of which culminate into our personal development.

Being Dominant doesn’t make One exempt from this particular occurrence. I deserve to be treated and respected like the Goddess that is within Me, but I am still flesh and blood; even the Gods had their trials.

I haven’t been on much of late – I’m sure you all have missed My regular diatribe. *smiles* I have been experiencing life and all the wonderful pleasure and pain that comes with it.

It seems, in My life at least, that nothing is ever an easy road. Just when I think I can settle in for some smooth sailing, Hecate Herself seems to come down to rock the boat a little and remind Me of a few things.

Be confident, but humble. Be strong, but know when vulnerability is a strength. Be Dominant but recognize when to keep it in check (yes, in vanilla terms there are times when ever Dominant knows that they have to maintain the balance.) Be sadistic, but know also when to tend with gentleness (and realize, too, that gentleness can also be torment if used properly!) Be selfish – for you deserve it – but be selfless enough to appreciate those who provide for You. Be in control – but know when it’s acceptable to trust and delegate on various things.

Be fearless…develop unbound compassion for our own suffering and that of others..make peace with all of who you are because it is all sacred – your fear, your sadness, your anger, your confusion, your beauty.’ Waht we do is not who we are.

There are times, I believe, in every life when you are so focused on one aspect of Self, that you neglect – or simply forget – that it’s only ONE aspect of a greater whole.

Shock and surprise – even Dominant’s make mistakes. Even They, in Their infinite wisdom and core, have times where they struggle.

This has been that for Me of late.

I am all of what I wrote above. Sadistic, selfish, controlling, strong, Dominant. I am also loving, affectionate, giving, selfless, gentle and vulnerable. I’m still working on humility! *winks* But in all seriously I had been focusing so much on pursuing and exploring the latter that I have been neglecting the former out of a fear that I would be weak.

Weakness, I have been reminded, is being too stubborn to look at yourself and slow down, or recognize when there is a lack of balance.

I have, again, been reminded how blessed I am to have squire to walk this path with Me. he is a difficult pet, there is no mistake in that. There are plenty of times I want to catch that cock in stocks and make him stand there bound and unable to escape while I take some wonderous instrument of pain to his hide. *beams* But at the same time he brings out of Me that which needs to be accepted and integrated – as I have no doubt I do for him in kind. he is able to bring out the worst…but most importantly the BEST in Me. THAT to Me is what a ‘true’ exploration of this lifestyle is about.

Unfortunately, as balance is key – you can’t have one without the other.

you can play all day – but at the end of it all, if you aren’t pushing the limits of YOURSELF to be able to fully adapt, absorb, integrate and BALANCE yourself – then what the hell are you really doing here?

I started to do this as an amazingly wicked hobbie – one where I could play and make some money enjoying Myself. I’ve found in it, and through My remarkable pet, so very much more.

I am finding Me.

….and no, neither one of us are certain where that is going to take us. Neither one of us is certain what tomorrow may bring – positively or negatively. But it is evolution.

That’s right boys! Seems TalkSugar is running a new promotion for their SugarHosts. MONEY is up for grabs here to the host that brings in the most new customers.

There for, if you haven’t signed up for TS already (and you should, honestly. Even if you don’t call Me – though calling Me would be the preferred way to do this!) yo uneed to go and sign up.

Did I mention you get $5 free towards your first call? No? Well, you do and even without the contest, I get a nice little kick back for your devotion and obedience.

GO!

Not to mention, you can utilize it to purchase photos of yours truly and when I DO get new shoots, this is the first place I put them. you want something to admire/drool over while you wank? Best way to get it (until I can get the website up and operational on a pay basis.)

For now though…I’m going to go get some much needed beauty sleep! you want Me online this weekend? Give Me a damn good reason to be here!

Til later -

~E

…and I don’t much like it but guess I have to accept it. There for I’m taking it easy tonight – which I deserve to it’s fullest!

This weekend was simply amazing. Not only was I pampered (as well I should be!) but there was a good deal of development, growth and progress for both squire and Myself. Though I may have been Dominant in a professional sense for some time now online, there is a different learning curve when One applies it to a 24/7 setting. For as much as I’m training squire – I am also learning more and more about Me. It’s a lovely, depraved and absolutely divine thing!

I know – you only wish you were squire right now, don’t you? Lucky bitch that one is and he’s well aware of it. If he forgets I simply remind him. *purrs*

squire took My out quite a bit this weekend. Dinner on Friday – followed by breakfast on Saturday, chauffering Me to a mall an hour away to get My toner and some more cleanser for My beautiful face (which he of course had to pay for) then out for the afternoon before returning home and being rewarded prior to (again) taking Me out to dinner and a movie. Such an appreciative thing!

Such a pretty sight, isn’t it? Make Me all warm and fuzzy. Made him take it while I was grinding it with My heel. I LOVE those heels too! So versatile! Plus it’s a bit of joy to Me to hear him whimper while he was trying to take the shot!

We went to see Green Zone and I will refrain from discussing My thoughts on the movie’s subject matter as I have NO desire to discuss politics under this medium. Suffice it to say, though I adore Matt Damon – I wasn’t happy with the movie.

This week I suspect I will be off and on. I’m in the process of getting squire set up with his own little section of My world so that you all can follow him in his journey as Mine. Hope to have that fully up and launched soon.

I’m working on lining up another photoshoot – this one pin-up based in the relatively near future. Mainly just an issue of scheduling. Of course, if you want to see the results, you really should do all you can to fund it – photoshoots aren’t cheap you know and I could always use more wardrobe and props!

you know you wanna…

it’s just sitting there in your wallet….let Me put it to good use….

For anyone that is interested in actually serving Me in -any- capacity, know this: Approach Me with respect, courtesy and humility. If you are rude and/or crude in your introduction I will immediately dismiss you and call you out on such.

If you are coming to Me in earnest – regardless the sort of servitude you desire to pledge – then I will take you into consideration. It is a bit of a process with Me – feeling you out and trying to decide if I find it beneficial to accept you or not. Be patient. Be kind. Be generous (and I’m not just talking in monetary giftage here).

Just a reminder….

Til later!

E

Most Domina’s wouldn’t post something that may make them look ‘less then perfect’ but in My opinion it helps the devoted to see that their Goddess still has compassion, humanity and humor.

In this case – My car got Me. I was getting into it from having finished grocery shopping and somehow it decided that it wanted to be introduced to My head. CRACK! Right on My brow….have a nice little goose egg and sore spot above My eye.

And of course this happens to Me the day before I have an appointment to meet up with a photographer about a potential shoot!

Worst part of it is that squire is working (to make Me more money of course) so I have no one readily available to take it out on physically.

Anyway, I do plan on being online a good part of the weekend, especially in the evenings. So there in, get your wallets set and at the ready…since I can’t physically torment My squire, I can take it out of your paycheck!

I have discovered that when I have a weekend with TPO ,I always need some ‘recovery’ time after! Why does that always seem to happen when one is having a great time? Man makes Me smile, even when he irritates the every living hell out of Me. The bastard. *winks*

NOt much in the mood for talking tonight so though I have the lines open, dont be expecting much from Me other then taking all the money in your account.

Tonight is going to be spent relaxing and reading – which is really a continuation of last nights activities for Me. Though last night I indulged in an epsom salt and lavender soak bath surrounded by candle light.

Yes, you may drool now but clean it up. I despise a messy floor.